You don’t have to try so hard…


Striving. Trying. Pushing.

Do you find yourself using phrases like:

I’ll try to get that done.

I’ll try to be there.

I’m pushing through.

I strive for perfection.

Or something similar. We use these words in our everyday vocabulary—and I’m just as guilty as you. But what do they really mean?

I’ve always been a high achiever—except for that decade or so when I temporarily lost myself but we won’t go there today.

In high school, I was the president of the drama club, editor of the year book, on student council, and I pulled close to a 90% average final grade ALL at the same time in my graduating year (aka same year). Not to mention the fact that I had a full time boyfriend and social life I had to maintain. Yep, I was busy but I felt like I was always striving for more. I felt like I HAD TO BE PERFECT!!!

I am a big time do-er. I love checking off my task list. I am a serious action-taker.

And, it wasn’t until recently that I realized why for most of my life I have always been striving and pushing.

It wasn’t because I wanted all that stuff or accolades, though that is nice too, and I do have some big dreams. It wasn’t just because I was striving for excellence (though I was). It was because I thought I wasn’t good enough and that I had to keep PROVING over and over again to myself and others that I was enough.

If you are constantly striving to do something or have more or be more, if you are always TRYING, take a good look inside because my guess is that perhaps you feel the same way I did.

Instead of striving for happiness, just be happy.

Instead of trying to find love, just love.

Instead of pushing, just be. (this one is super hard for me too)

Now there is nothing wrong with having dreams (you actually NEED THEM), setting intentions, having goals, and achieving awesome things. However, there is a BIG difference in how and why you do it.

Do you set your intention or goal and then let the universe work its magic on HOW that will happen for you—letting each step in the process flow—unattached to the final outcome? Acting on each synchronicity and nudge from the universe as it appears?

OR do you set your goal and then go crazy trying and trying to make or force things to happen exactly how you want them to happen?

Constantly striving and pushing for something is exhausting, both mentally and emotionally and pretty much a waste of your energy. It is like telling the universe how to do its job. Ya, never going to work (believe me I totally KNOW this one).

It’s also usually a sign of feeling like you aren’t good enough and that you need to prove to the world (and yourself) that you are.

Let me tell you this. You are good enough just as you are. Period.

So take the words TRY and STRIVE right out of your vocabulary. Today, right now! (Don’t tell me you’ll try to take try out of your vocabulary…:P )

As Yoda says, “there is no try, only do”.

Set your intentions but remain unattached as to how they will look once you achieve them. Chances are the universe has something even better in mind for you than you can even imagine.

Let go of the fear and the need to control every outcome; let go of pushing.

Today I give you permission to stop striving.

Take a deep breath and let it out and with that the need to prove yourself. When you let go of striving, it’s like a massive weight falls off your shoulders and you’ll finally understand that you are already awesome (i.e. enough) just as you are.

About the Author

Heather WIlsonHeather E. Wilson is the founder and CEO of The Canadian Coach, a directory and membership platform designed to unite, support and promote Canadian coaches. She's a successful business coach, speaker, author (Your Life According to You!), warrior, change-maker, risk-taker, and adventurer all rolled into one dynamic package.